Dressing For Duke

It's rare that the Duke will say something that hurts my feelings.  He's very conscious to do his best to be nice to me, and to do all he can to take care of me.

The other day after watching Fifty Shades Darker, I asked him if he thought I was sexy.  He wasn't sure what to say.  I was hurt.  Devastated was more like it.  The thing with the Duke is that he doesn't always know how to put things into words, a lot of times because he hasn't got a fixed opinion on something, or know the reasons why when he does have an answer. 

I can either go away hurt and sit in my own misery, or I can sit and talk with him.  It means I have to think of different questions to ask him until he figures it out.  It can be hard, there have been times this drove me nuts in our marriage.  But he doesn't do it on purpose.  He thinks different than most people, and needs either space to think things through, or needs open ended questions to help him figure out how he really thinks or feels.

So this day it took quite a while before the Duke was able to articulate what it was that he was thinking.  He does find me sexy, he just doesn't find how I dress sexy, and so finds it hard to find me sexy in my clothes.  And to be honest, I can see why.  Since my parents moved in, I have had a very hard time dressing sexy.  I feel infringed upon if I try.  I feel violated, like they're seeing a part of me that they have no right to, that only belongs to the Duke. 

The Duke isn't wanting anything scandalous.  He just wants different.  I currently wear tshirts that literally go an inch up my impossibly short neck.  So literally, there is only an inch between my chin and shirt even though it's not a turtle neck, which I can't wear at all. :P  So he'd like me to wear something with a lower neck, not scandalously low, but more skin than I show now.  He'd also like me to have shorter sleeves, mine go to my elbow.  Slightly form fitting pants as mine lately are very loose, though to be fair, I lost 25 lbs last year, and am working on more this year.  He also wishes I'd wear dresses when I can.  And certain types of underwear, I have a handful of them from before, and he'd really like those to make an appearance again.  lol  He didn't ask me to wear any of these things, he just told me that is what he likes and what he finds sexy.  And I knew that in my memory, but had kind of forgotten about the importance of them in the past couple of years.

So this week had me going through our closet to see what still fit me in terms of dresses and sexy night gowns.  Then I went shopping.  I haven't bought myself new clothes in a very long time.  But this week I did.  I bought over $80 in some tops that I knew he'd like, and a housecoat I could wear over the nightgowns that are NOT appropriate for children and parents to see. :P

The look on his face when I modeled some of my new tops and house coat was priceless, and there was no doubt in my mind that he found me sexy.  I have some bruises and a BIG smile to prove it. :)

I love the smaller things in DD.  The want to obey him, even when there isn't a clear rule given.  I'm excited to do this for him, and I'll just have to push what others think out of my head.  I'm doing this for him.  And he's who matters.

I can already feel the submission growing from taking this step.  The new clothes are drying as we speak, and I can't wait to start wearing them for him, and it'll be interesting to see how my heart and submission changes over the next few weeks as I make these changes.  I'll let you know if anything unexpected happens. :)